Earlier this year I ended two friendships. I was no longer getting anything from either person, but was instead giving them everything. These two women were literally sucking the joy out of my life. Ending things with them both caused a lot of hurt feelings, caused them both to say some very hurtful things. I knew that I could never make them see my side of the situation. That would have required them to look at something from another person's perspective, which, at the time, wasn't something they were capable of. Its been several months now and I'm a happier person. I'm a better friend to the other people in my life. I regret the hurt feelings my actions caused, but I would do the same thing again. It was the right thing to do.
But something I don't understand is why, after all this time, one of these women is now texting me. Saying things like 'I miss you.' Then switching gears and being passive aggressive. I don't think I'll ever understand where this is coming from. Or why she can't let me go. Or why she can't seem to turn to other friends and leave me alone.
My hope for her is that one day, she'll find that she can define herself without the approval of others. And that she can stand on her own without a friend to cling desperately to. And that she'll find self worth within herself and stop looking for it in other people.
Today, my best friend said I reminded her of the Black Knight from Monty Python and The Search for the Holy Grail. You know, the knight who gets his arm chopped off and says "tis just a flesh wound." I love that she, and hopefully others, see me as someone who keeps going despite the hurdles life puts before me. And I wish that this former friend could find that strength within herself too.
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